Roissy has claimed that husbands who do more chores at home have sex less often because it is a turn-off to their wives.
The GSS asked respondents how often they have sex, and how many hours of houeswork they do in a typical week. Sex frequency is influenced a great deal by age, so I include it as a control:
Standardized OLS regression coefficients (sample size = 218, married men)
Hours of housework -.05
Age -.45*
*statistically significant
While age exerts a powerful effect on frequency of sexual intercourse, housework is unrelated. (It might have a small negative effect if the sample size were larger).
Wives are less likely to want sex if they are tired or if they are in a bad mood. They are more likely to be in a bad mood if they feel that their husband is not pulling his load. (I'm skeptical of the view that what a woman finds attractive in her man is his exploitation of her). The chance of her wanting sex will be higher if she gets manly vibes from her husband. So the best plan for a husband is to show his wife that he is doing his fair share, but to focus on manly types of work. That means work that is physical or technical. Much of it will be outside. If you don't know how to fix stuff, like a car--you're smart--learn. Avoid any type of work, except for barbecuing, that requires an apron.
The goal for a good marriage is to be traditional but to be just. In Bruce Charlton's words, be a patriarch.
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Well - I said "be a patriarch or a monk"!
ReplyDeleteI should have added - "or a Holy Fool" (who could, I suppose, also be a husband...).
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ReplyDeleteRoissy is a good writer, but all in all he's frequently full of it, like any good writer. He panders to his audience (frustrated betas). He also gets a little ego boost every time he does it, the same as a fairly smart guy can do by surrounding himself with morons and earning their cheap respect by wowing them with his intellectual prowess. Roissy's just trying to inseminate your mind, because as you know (or should know), ego enhancement is always bisexual. Seriously, American life is not that challenging, even the romantic element; it just feels like that when you're frustrated. You can fail with women over 99% of the time and still end up happy for most of your life.
ReplyDeleteThe GSS doesn't support your statement all that strongly, so are you speaking from personal experience? You may be right, it's just not in the GSS.
ReplyDeleteRight, I couldn't resist a "here's what I suspect" point.
ReplyDeleteRoissy is a case. Nerds have a hard time in the big city dating scene. Everyone has a hard time in the big city dating scene, except a few alphas. Smaller towns and going to church would probably help.
ReplyDeletehttp://facingzionwards.blogspot.com/
Roissy's approach does work.... for women that are highly neurotic or damanged from previous relationships. His strategy gets the wrong type of girls.
ReplyDelete"Beta" traits (monogamy, respect, loyalty) can be attractive to women if they're combined with some alpha traits too (strength, athleticism). Doing chores with your hands would probably fit in that categoty.
Pretty worthwhile data, lots of thanks for your post.
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