An analogy that might offend

I'm surprised I've never run across this analogy for homosexuality that now occurs to me.  Imagine a group of people who are, what we could call, alternative eaters.

For whatever reason, these folks prefer to consume food either through their nostrils or their anuses.

And imagine that sensitive individuals didn't want to exclude any of variety of preference. It's not fair that the anus eaters get all the attention, so we develop an inclusive acronym. We call anus eaters A's, and those who prefer nostril eating N's. If they enjoy both methods, we'll call them AN's.

Some like both mouth eating and anus eating, so we call them MA's. Those who like mouth eating and nostril eating, we'll call MN's. A few enjoy all three methods, so we call them Tri's or T. Those who are trying to figure out which methods they prefer, we will call I's for investigating. For all others, we'll indicate a plus sign. That leaves us with the acronym of ANANMAMNTI+.

And don't get me started on the people who like alternative excretion.

What to say if someone tells you America hasn't done enough to stigmatize racists

If someone complains that America has not done enough to stigmatize racism, you tell them this:

Jeffrey Dahmer killed, mutilated and ate many victims, and nine of them were black. When prosecutors asked him if he had something against blacks, he answered, "Whoa, whoa, slow down! Yes, I killed, mutilated, and ate a lot of black guys, but I did it because I LIKED them. I may be a lot of things, including a cannibal, but I am NOT, I repeat, NOT A RACIST!!!" (True story, I just paraphrase.)

We Englishmen still rule the world: You can call us names, but you can't keep us down. We sons of England were riding high with WASP Bush in office, and now he will turn the reins over to Mr. Dunham. Thank God that white trash Scots-Irishman lost. We Englishmen have got to stick together.