Monday, February 08, 2010

Gay couple promiscuity

This study reported in the New York Times provides an argument that marriage will not traditionalize homosexuals; rather, trend-setting homosexuals will modernize marriage. In a study of 556 gay male couples, half admitted to having an open relationship. (Cheating among the other half was not described). According to author Joe Quirk:
"The traditional American marriage is in crisis, and we need insight,” he said, citing the fresh perspective gay couples bring to matrimony. “If innovation in marriage is going to occur, it will be spearheaded by homosexual marriages."

H/T Guy White

34 comments:

  1. Anonymous8:27 PM

    The modern welfare state couple with new-age social ideas helped lead the state of marriage and family into its state of disrepair.

    After all, a woman only gets a welfare check if there's no able-bodied daddy in the house.

    The new-age idea of "no shame" is what led to the social idea that a man and a woman need not commit to one another. This is reflected even in such law which "protect" even juvenile offenders--the press cannot reveal their names in article or police notes. The message of the last 40 years has been, "It's wrong to shame anyone for anything."

    Gay marriage, even among those who mean no harm to hetero marriage (sad I even have to mention the ones who "mean no harm" but I am aware of those gays who really do wish to stick it heteros-- the "breeders"-- and their institutions) will further erode the one institution that kids need for stability and emotional health--a stable family of a mom and a dad.

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  2. It's true. There are gay men who are interested in long term monogamous relationships but we are probably around forty percent in my opinion.

    I don't think gay marriage is about marriage per se among gays. It's about the principle of equality. Having said that, though, I dont see any reason why straight couples should be taking their relationship cues from gay men in the future.

    Lesbians, on the other hand, are very monogamous and interested in marriage for practical purposes.

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  3. Anonymous11:47 AM

    Even as a gay man, I fail to see how we can offer any insight for hetrosexuals into relationships, given we amplified a virus that wiped out most of one and half of a second generation of gay men.

    For most gay people, gay marriage is about forcing society to approve their lifestyle; it is not about love and certainly not about monogamy.

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  4. Anonymous12:07 PM

    Mark,

    I understand your point, but unfortunately it IS true that once a cultural institution has been changed by a legal decree that widens its scope, it's definition, that very institution's morphology has forever been changed. In fact, that is but one reason I am oppposed to gay marriage--because marriage *is* a cultural institution and w/out the larger culture's approval of it, any attempt to redefine it by forced (legal) means causes cultural resentments/dysfunction/disunity. So far about 30 states have turned it down, right? I really don't think that can be chalked up to what some gays insist on calling homophobia. I think most people realize that while marriage among heteros is in trouble, we ought to persist in working toward reinstituting the traditional family because it's good for kids, and what is emotionally optimum for kids is good for society.

    There is also the unfortunate truism that what some opponents of gay marriage argue--that if the definition undergoes one change, it can and will inevitably undergo others--is already a reality. There are already several law suits brought by trios for the legalizing of polygamy. How can there be an accomodation for same-sex marriage w/out the same accomodation for other formations?

    Indeed, polygamy works in some societies, but it almost always is the end product of the economic allotment of resources and the child rearing doesn't suffer.

    I've read too many student journals over the years not to know how emotionally damaged a huge % of our kids are because of the lack of a stable home in which there exists both a mom and a dad who are committed to one another. The kids of divorce are shuttled back and forth between parents or never get to know one of the parents. The kids living in homes where there is no marriage (and where there has never been one) are forever wondering when this boyfriend or that girlfriend will move in or out.

    I swear, you could walk into almost any schoolroom these days, observe student behavior for a few hours, then predict which kids come from stable homes with a mom and dad and which don't. The parents' committment to each other assures the kid of their committment to him and reminds him that he is not going to be dumped either physically or emotionally.

    I would rather gays worked to ensure that the things they fear will happen (inheritance problems, hospital rights, etc.) are taken care of by other laws. I'd much rather they leave marriage alone and accept that all of us are limited in life by some circumstances, but those circumstances don't have to make for an unhappy, unfulfilled life.

    As I understand it, even most lesbians are not all that hot on marriage.

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  5. Anonymous12:18 PM

    One last point I meant to make...

    I love Kurt Vonnegut's 3 page satire, "Harrison Bergeron" because it skewers us for our confusing "equal" with "same."

    One can be equal to another w/out being the same. I'd love to have a national dialogue about that distinction. I think the nation would be forced to think about a lot of failed policies if such a conversation were to occur, and clearing the air might actually help us face some truths so that we can actually improve many situations.

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  6. This article makes an argument that "Harrison Bergeron" isn't satirizing the equalizers; it is satirizing those who mischaracterize the equalizers. I think he makes an interesting case.

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  7. Anonymous7:40 PM

    Vonnegut was no "conservative" as the term is perceived today; however, he was acutely aware that even those who had high-minded goals were confusing two terms. As a satirist he wasn't about to let them off the hook any more than he let off the other side. Indeed, in the piece, both sides are chided. Very fair indeed.

    I read that piece to which you refer, and the author of it doesn't get it right.

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  8. Anonymous7:52 PM

    While we're on the subject of writers who are/were great thinkers and predictors (Vonnegut), I am also reminded of Ray Bradbury.

    While Bradbury's body of work is prescient in many ways, I am reminded in particular of something in his Fahrenheit 451, an extension of his short story, "The Fireman."

    In this novel, the authoritarian state had begun plucking children from parents at earlier and earlier ages to plunk them in school. One of the characters, Faber IIRC, points out that the schools are taking them practically "from the cradle."

    When I heard Obama, both during the campaign and after, taut his education plan--to send kids to preschool, it was Fahrenheit I thought of. In fact, there is not much in that book that doesn't have frightening parallels to today.

    God, we do such a bad job as it is. The plan must be to destroy them at an even earlier age than we already do.

    In fact, there is not much in that book that doesn't have frightening parallels to today's society.

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