Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The American animal: Have you ever noticed how the United States looks like an animal? Johnny Depp did say that America is like a big puppy. New England is the head, with Boston being the brains. Between all the media and politicians, New York City and DC are the two ends of a big mouth.

All those solid folks in the northern states form the straight backbone, and Midwestern region is where the nation's heart is found. The West Coast is the nation's buttocks with Las Vegas as the colon and Hollywood and San Pornando Valley the anus out of which the waste comes.

Florida and South Texas are the fore- and hind legs, and New Orleans is the sex organs.

A fine lookin' animal, if you ask me.


  1. Anonymous11:12 AM

    ROTFL! But do you really have such a positive view of the East Coast?

  2. Anonymous11:18 AM

    Between you and me, I think the right and left wing are like balancing arms of a mechanism, or a spring and a damper. Destroying one wing or the other tends to lead to dangerous extremism. I'm thinking of Germany before WWII (leaving aside the Holocaust, Hitler was disastrous for the German nation) ... can you think of a case where the right wing of the spectrum was wiped out?

  3. SFG: Russia, China, Cuba ...

  4. America is shaped like a majestic bull elk. The horns are New England. New York is the mouth. That would mean the brains are located somewhere in Western Pennsylvania.

    The balls and dick are Texas.

  5. Anonymous10:41 AM

    jody: thanks. Though China and Russia are making a comeback now. I think extremists tend to be either egghead theoreticians (left) or resentful peasants (right) and either way are not smart managers.

    For some reason I always thought as a kid that America looked porcine. This was before Michael Moore and all that; I was 5 years old and looking at the picture on the wall. Was it the large butt?

  6. SFG: Russia, China, Cuba ...


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