More: Here's another thought on the marriage question. Whenever you have non-relationship sex with a woman, it's like renting a car. If she's beautiful, it's a luxury rental car; if not, maybe a compact. (If you tricked the woman into it, it's really like when kids steal a car for a joyride--no pun intended). If you've rented a lot of cars, you can brag to your friends how I rented a Mercedes once, or how I've rented 40 different cars. And guys will say, wow you've spent time in a lot of different cars.
I like the feeling I have much better. I'm one lucky bastard because I married a woman who is beautiful, sexy, highly educated, and just about saintly. (Can you believe educated and not an emasculating bitch?!). I'm going to wake up one of these days to learn the whole thing isn't real. Anyway--here's the good part--I own this car. She is mine. And it is a Mercedes. When we're walking around at the mall or some such (I know--it sounds beta) I am proud as a peacock. When my Dad met her, he said, "Son, I'd be sticking out my chest too." Even when we're old, people are going to say, I bet she was smoking when you met her.
And even it she wasn't beautiful, I'd still tell my buddies that I am one lucky bastard because she wouldn't marry any of you guys in a million years. She gave up her freedom and her chance for a more worthy man for this insignificant hombre. And even if the day ever came that she left me--and it won't--I'd still be wearing a smile and would ask everybody, do you know-so-and-so? I would then say in a bragging tone, "I was married to her for X years. She finally got smart and moved on, but those were the best years of my life. And I don't see our kids as much as I'd like and have to pay too damn much child support, but they're my kids, and they're beautiful and smart and good just like she is."
This is the psychology of a beta at work, but I am a beta, and I am directing this at betas. (I'm pretty sure only betas read about marriage). Don't buy the hype unless you want to spend the rest of your life reading idiotic blogs ... alone.
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ReplyDelete"And guys will say, wow you've spent time in a lot of different cars."
ReplyDeleteLines like this are why I keep coming back.
I think you are missing the point.
ReplyDeleteFirst, most women are not interested in marriage, unless it's to an Alpha stud.
Most women earn enough NOT TO NEED OR WANT a beta provider. That's new and significant. At no other time has this been true outside of say, Tropical Africa.
And we are probably headed towards Tropical Africa in terms of a model for relations between the sexes.
Next, all due respect but your are from a different generation. You just cannot appreciate how radically things have changed for men and women, particularly in the last fifteen years.
Finally, marriage has been redefined as "fabulous big gay party" ... for you. Afterwards you and your spouse go onto various partners or not as you can pull.
A beta guy who DOES get married can look forward to the following:
1. Getting married to a mid thirties woman who had somewhere between 30 and 50 partners or so. He's nothing special to her, merely "Next!" Emotionally, physically, sexually, and companionship wise.
2. Finding out that he's "non-exclusive" i.e. not only is he likely to be "sharing" her with past boyfriends, he's also "sharing" her with her current boyfriends, recall marriage is no longer monogamous but redefined as "if he's hot, go for it" by the gatekeepers, women.
Again, there is no way for you to know this because you are older, the last generation that did get married. For younger guys, this is the reality they live.
It's a spread-your-seed life. It's Tropical African prosperity for women who seek the most exciting dominant men and don't want or need a beta guy.
A beta guy who marries a girl in her thirties is basically just leasing a car, for a short while, and has to share with other guys anyway.
Respectfully, you are an older, nice guy who was part of the last, best generation. The last one to get married largely. Things have changed radically.
See my latest post, on "Mercy" for how completely women's attitudes changed. Fifteen years ago on "Friends" the characters of Chandler and Monica were considered a winning romantic story for the mostly female viewers, even though the Chandler character was a male peer who lived the same life Monica did, right down to living across the hall.
There is simply no way a storyline like that could succeed now.
Roissy is going to come by and kick sand on you. I'll tell him I'm very disappointed in him and if he doesn't quit, I'll hurl my green eyeshade at him.
ReplyDeleteGetting married to a mid thirties woman who had somewhere between 30 and 50 partners or so.Whiskey, you are a smart person who has interesting thoughts, but you make a lot of really irritatingly false assertions. This is the General Social Survey, please start using it to test your ideas. Or Google. There is no excuse to make repeated outlandish assertions.
ReplyDeleteConnecting your ideas to TV shows and pop cultural trends is entertaining, but you really need to start focusing harder on the data.
Whiskey is a canary in the coal mine, exquistely sensitive - probably over-sensitive - to some maybe-isolated social trends or aspirations that may - or may not - ever work-through to be visible on big social surveys.
ReplyDeleteHe is working in a different field - more like lit crit than social science.
But then not everyone is suited to quant analysis.
Nonetheless, some of Whiskey's ideas may perhaps have value to more quant-oriented social scientists, who could get clues for things to test more formally.
Assuming your wife is as great as you say, that still doesn't make the case to the poor schmucks who have to settle in their dating life.
ReplyDeleteMid- to low- level women are not comparable to mid- to low- level cars. Even your Saturns and Kias have pretty good dependability and comfort of ride nowadays but there's plenty of women, maybe as many as 50%, that you couldn't pay me to marry.
"I was married to her for X years. She finally got smart and moved on, but those were the best years of my life."
ReplyDeleteSo you'd be satisfied even in the face of abject failure. Your pro-marriage message amounts to, "Marriage is great... if you lower your standards so much that even failure is great."
I can't refute that. It's a tautology. But not a very useful truth for anyone with slightly higher standards.
"First, most women are not interested in marriage, unless it's to an Alpha stud."
ReplyDeleteGeez, where do you guys get this shit?
"but you really need to start focusing harder on the data."
Or just opening his eyes?
Ron,
Maybe you are a beta. But you are an alpha beta!
Jason,
ReplyDeleteIf he popped out X number of kids from a an attractive, intelligent woman, I wouldn't call that abject failure!
Whiskey,
Your assertions about the number of sexual partners women have is absurd. It undercuts everything else you write.