Friday, April 30, 2010

Gotta like that oxytocin

Fellow Betas, I think I may have discovered how it is that women developed stronger and deeper feelings for me over time, the opposite of how I expected it would work. From pages 70 and 71 of Why Women Have Sex:
Diane Witt, a researcher at Binghamton University, proposes that the release of oxytocin can be classically conditioned to the sight of certain people. Recall the Nobel Prize-winning Russian scientist Pavlov and his dogs. Dogs salivate when they are exposed to food--it plays an important role in the digestive process. Pavlov began ringing the bell every time he fed his dogs, and after a while the sound of the bell alone caused the dogs to salivate. The dogs had been classically conditioned to salivate at the sound of a bell. Witt believes that, in a similar way, oxytocin can be classically conditioned to be released by the brain with exposure to certain partners. 

For example, a woman meets someone and on the first date she decides he doesn't match up to her ideal--Clint Eastwood--but he's still acceptable enough to date a few more times. Eventually she decides to have sex with him--and oxytocin is released, so she experiences that "oohhh so good" feeling. After having repeated sex, and oxytocin releases, with the same man, she forms a conditioned association. Pretty soon, just seeing the guy can cause her brain to release oxytocin--without even having sex. Suddenly "Mr. Acceptable Enough" becomes "Mr. Can't Live Without."  Some researchers believe that prolonged attachment with a given person actually causes chronically high levels of oxytocin and its close hormonal relative vasopressin, which could feasibly help maintain long-term relationship bonds between women and men.

 Problem is, you have to be acceptable in the first place.


  1. chocolate administered in timely doses does wonders. I'm fairly confident I've gotten laid before simply because I built up an association between me and getting chocolate.

  2. Does Mrs. Guhname know that women have developed stronger and deeper feelings for you over time?

  3. Anonymous12:45 PM

    Interesting information. Whiskey has written about pair-bonding pheremones released when young couples are formed and how they might support long marriages of fidelity instead of the hook-up subculture the barfly's have out there now.

    Something tells me that women who sleep around a great deal in their twenties are going to have a hard time bonding to almost anyone (unless he's really out of her league) in their thirties for a strong commitment. Given our divorce laws, thats financially very precarious for a man.

  4. silly girl4:08 PM

    So that's why I love breast pumps!

    Seriously though, nursing releases oxytocin and nursing is required 24/7 for months on end.

    Fat baby=lots of nursing=lots of oxytocin and relaxed happy feeling.

  5. Anonymous4:47 PM

    Some researchers believe that prolonged attachment with a given person actually causes chronically high levels of oxytocin and its close hormonal relative vasopressin, which could feasibly help maintain long-term relationship bonds between women and men.

    Or it could be that if the woman overcomes her initial misgivings and remains with the man for a while, she'll realize that his flaws actually weren't as bad as they seemed on first impression. No oxytocin is involved.

    Whatever the cause, this increasing acceptability over time works best for men in the upper part of the Beta spectrum, for as you suggest, lower Betas wouldn't be acceptable in the first place.


  6. The best way to keep a woman around is to be able to sexually produce and perform consistently well. You may be poverty-stricken or status that ranks with the strays in the back alley, but if you are able to consistently feed her that dose of oxytocin, she'll stick around.

    Sexing a woman is like being her pusher.

  7. Anonymous7:33 PM

    Reminds me of something a notably... ah, "fun-loving" young lady once told me: "You know, when you sleep with a guy five or six times... you get to like him?

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