Welcome to multicultural America: As of two years ago, the bathroom I often visit on campus had nice, clean blue walls. Then, I began to see occasional gang writing here and there. My reaction was, "Gangs, at a university?!" (I really shouldn't be surprised: I have had former and current gang members in my classes). Over time, gangbangers wrote more and more, either to advertise themselves or to challenge rival gangs. Eventually, the walls were a mess of crossed-out graffiti.

Now, the latest trend. A couple weeks ago, some white guy finally got fed up with the bathroom's walls being turned into a giant scribble pad, and wrote: "F****** beaners." To which a well-endowed student responded, "Whoever said this can suck my big f****** Mexican c***." And today, the poetry continues with a "Get your a** back to Mexico, you f******* spic." I bet I can guess what's coming next: "This is our land, you f****** gringo. You get your a** back to Europe." (Do you think my dialogue sounds authentic?) As much as I enjoy the honesty of the john (I wish we could get this candor on the General Social Survey I analyze so much) I prefer clean walls. Welcome to multicultural America.

Update: I couldn't write this stuff. Today, I find that after two years, the walls have finally been cleaned. Did months and months of unsightly scribbling all over the place motivate a cleanup? No. Did the desire to take action against gang activity on campus motivate the cleanup? No. So what motivated it? Because someone wrote the word "beaner" on the wall.